Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
