This is not my ceiling
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
