oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
