watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
