this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
