Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
