Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
