oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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