alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
