how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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