Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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