Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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