I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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