i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
