i barfeds in our rink
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
