tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
