we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
