There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
