mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
