how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
