BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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