we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
