My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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