Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
