question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
