Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
