and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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