school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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