i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
