He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
