i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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