oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
