Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
