u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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