HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
