just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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