she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
