How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
