Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
