Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think my moral compass just broke
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
