i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
