Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
