He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
