If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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