I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
