he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
