Welp...herpes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
