I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
