you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
