Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
