i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
