Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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