hell yes lets make some ravioli
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
