Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
