Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
